Life as I know it.

April it is... Oh April, here you come again! Last April, she was here, sitting in front of me, smiling.  Cheering us up with the delightful presence of hers.  Today, April it is.  That sofa is vacant, that room longs for her presence.  Today no one's smiling here.  There's an incessant silence, a void.  Today it smelled like misery.  This April is horrific. That April was just another April, a normal April.  Nothing will ever be the same again.  Every April will be a wistful melancholic April. Last April, she was planning for Ramadan.  Oh how excited she was!  That joy, that kind grin... From grocery shopping, to menu planning.  It was all sorted out because of her existence.  April it was... April it is... Last April, I wasn't terrified by the month.  Today, I am... Today, heaven must be having a beautiful April.  A divine April...

The moon and I talk to make it through the night.  The gloomy night that haunts me with the memories.  Memories of you, memories of us.  The moon and I suffer from the distance.  The distance that separates us.  I yearn for your presence, right beside me.  Conquering the distance.  The moon and I share the secrets.  The secrets that belongs to my heart.  I share the happy moments of togetherness.  When we weren't miles away.  When there were no oceans and mountains between us.  When I could feel your touch,  Your warmth.  When we could hold hands for hours.  The moon and I cry for your longing.  In a dark grey sky.  Hoping to see the rainbow.  Hoping to see You.  Hoping to have conversations with the moon, together, for eternity. 

We live in a world of trending hashtags... Hashtags asking for justice... Justice for Zainab,  Justice for Noor,  Justice for abc... It's a new hashtag every other day... An appeal for justice,  A cry for help,  An awakening from the deep slumber... Will we ever wake up? Will we ever be able to stop this violence against women? Will we ever be able to protect our children, our minorities?  Or there will always be a plethora of hashtags... People do raise their voices,  people do stand up for the rights of victims,  There are vigils,  Protests, Marches. It's all in vain... Will we ever be able to provide justice to all these hashtags? Or they'd bury themselves as silent hashtags... Who'd threaten us,  warn us,  to stand up. to act.  to speak up.  Will we ever see a world with no hashtags? but, justice, peace, equity.  Will we ever wake up in a world where Justice prevails?  Will we ever listen to these hash...

It's been a month since I lost mama. Which makes it 30 days, 720 hours, 43,800 minutes and 2,592,000 seconds without her beautiful presence. They say time flies, it really does but there's an incessant sadness. I have no idea how did I get the patience to live a life that doesn't include her. There's pain, there's constant fear and misery. However there's a sense of contentment, a satisfaction that she's in a good place. A feeling that she's finally gonna get what she deserves - happiness and joy. She never had a great life, she struggled through it all. Yet she never gave up, not even when she was on bipap and doctors were not very hopeful. She fought her battle against this lethal disease. She kept on fighting until April 21, 10:30 am. She tried her best. She gave it all. My Mama jan was a warrior. She used to send us selfies from her isolation room with a victory sign. She used to send me voice notes saying, "I'm fine my love, don...

What does a human want?  Some rights.  Some opportunities.  A freedom.  A liberty.  A choice.  To make decisions for oneself.  To stand up for fundamental rights.  To raise voice against injustice.  Are women human?  A human possesses rights.  Rights to live their lives without being harassed or killed or buried.  A right to education,  To earn livelihood,  To choose a partner,  To travel safely without the fear of being raped,  A human, certainly, has choices.  To think,  To speak,  To act.  Are women human?  A human enjoys opportunities that are offered.  To avail educational benefits,  To choose a career,  To get equal pay for equal work,  To follow their dreams,  To break the shackles,  Are women human?  A woman is a human.  A woman wants her rights,  Rights that are your privileges,  Rights that she's being deprived o...

The year that started with hopes, dreams, aspirations. The year that was just another year to embark on new adventures. To start it all over again. To work on resolutions. To break those resolutions. It was the year to begin a journey towards life. A journey with new paths and better destinations.  However, as the year approaches, the world came across an obstacle. Some called it 'just a flu' others referred to it as another epidemic. The year was shaken by the horrific reality of the world where thousands of people were dying on daily basis. People lost their loved ones. The year that started with embracing each other ended up practicing social distance. People were terrified. Hospitals were occupied. Graveyards were overwhelmed. The year turned out to be gruesome. Everybody was locked up inside their homes. Streets were deserted. Shops were closed. Businesses were affected. People lost their jobs The year was all about uncertainty,  Unpredictability and  Unr...